Any real news will (mostly) have to be set aside today, because the impossible will be made real over the next 24 hours. We’ll keep a disembodied eye out and a freshly cut off ear to the ground for today’s ridiculousness and post it here as it unfolds. If you have no idea why, someone’s probably breaking into your house right now.

• Harrison Ford Returns in Han Solo Spinoff (figure the odds)
• “There Will Be Farts” is Greenlit (very nice!)
• Asteroid Destroyed Sodom and Gamora (can a film be far off?)
• Dark Knight’s “Clown Travel Agency” (more viral fun)
• JoBlo says “Connery to Play Bond Villain.” (if only)
• “Bill & Ted, Part 3″ (wait… that’s real?!)
• Busey Replaces Del Toro for Wolfman (see the pic!)
• Tyler Perry Turning to Horror Films (riiiiiiight)
• Transformers Fight Cloverfield Monster (this’d be cool!)
• Spielberg Remaking Duel and Jaws (not at the same time)
• “X-Files 2: Full Moon Rising” (“Silver Bullet” being taken)
• Jake Gyllenhaal is the new Spidey! (and more emo than ever!)

Discuss below!

» Dig around in these buried remains...

• ‘Fools Gold’ vs. ‘Roscoe Jenkins’ 2/8/2008
• Drillbit vs. Shutter vs. Browns 3/21/2008
• Casino Royale Remake Teaser Site Seen 11/16/2005
• Kill Bill…Again? 6/21/2004
• Roger Moore As “M”? 7/14/2004
• Baddie Knocks 007’s Teeth Out 2/21/2006
• No Bond Until 2006 9/30/2004