About

“Upbeat, articulate and with attitude to spare…”
~ Syfy.com

Our Purpose

  • A horror lover’s reviews of all genres of movies. Reaping and critiquing thrillers, chillers, and killers.

Our Mission

  • Film critique with a focus on storytelling, supernatural elements, and the potential to become a cinema classic.

Greetings from Our Host

My name is Grim D. Reaper (Death is my middle name), host for MovieCrypt.com and an internationally recognized celebrity with my likeness used in hundreds of films.

When I’m not reaping your souls, I’m critiquing your films. Just like you, I demand to be entertained, which is why I prefer thrillers, chillers, and killers. So if you forget everything else, remember this: film critique isn’t dead until I SAY it is.

Who We Are

Founded by The Crystal Lich (rhymes with ‘witch’) in June of 1998, our base of operation is located beneath an abandoned cemetery underneath the Dames Point Bridge in Jacksonville, Florida, also the site of our mobile up-link station to our weather control and spy satellite orbiting in a geocentric orbit above the earth. Don’t believe us? Just ask the last filmmaker who disappeared flying a plane or piloting a ship into the Bermuda Triangle.
As of May 2006, Grim assumed review and media duties for the Crypt; it turns out The Crystal Lich isn’t very entertaining in front of a webcam (though he does try). He is currently semi-retired but not forgotten.

What We Do

Imagine being buried alive. If you could only take one movie with you to watch over and over again to help pass the time (assuming you survived six feet of earth shoveled over your casket and wouldn’t need to breathe after ninety minutes)… wouldn’t that be horribly boring after a while? The afterlife is no picnic.

Fortunately, we put at least some of that time toward our passion: movies. And since we enjoy sharing our opinions, MovieCrypt.com was created to do exactly that. Since everybody dies but not everyone goes on (immediately, anyway), doesn’t the opinion of an immortal ghoul carry a little more weight than some guy in a tie that hates every movie coming and going?

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

“What’s with the pentagram? Are you guys satanic or something?” According to the Wikipedia entry on pentagram (or pentacle), “The name indicates that a pentagram is not simply a five-pointed star: the symbol must be composed of five lines. That is, it must include the interior pentagon.” In contrast, our symbol is merely a five-pointed star and perfectly safe for movie watchers of all ages. Okay, actually it’s a bloodied, inverted, five-pointed Hollywood star, which we felt was appropriate (and the fact that you have to sell your soul to get one on the Walk of Fame wasn’t lost on us).

“Okay, so do you believe in God?” Belief suggests life AFTER death, which kind of goes hand-in-hand with the whole religion thing. Of course, we’ve never actually MET the Big Guy… um, we’re pretty sure He leaves us little clues that He’s watching, but that kind of talk only leads to high therapy bills. Did you want to know something about the website?

“Why aren’t there more pictures and stuff instead of just text and links?” Most of the content we report on is already on the web (ALL over it, in fact), and copying someone else’s stuff (or worse, posting it AS ours) is unethical and pretty much stealing bandwidth as well as content. When WE take the picture, write the interview, or make the film trailer, we host it here. Otherwise, we prefer a clean and generally banner-free and zero-popup website except where we absolutely have to pay the bills (you’re welcome!)

“Why is The Grim Reaper (aka Death, aka whatever) doing video stuff? Doesn’t he/it/they have better stuff to do than whine about movies?” Actually, he’s always been a silent partner… since he got a webcam for his laptop, he won’t shut up. Also, Death (or just ‘Grim’ to his buds) cannot be seen unless he wants you to or you’re already dead, so this gives him a little more exposure so people aren’t taken completely aback when he exposes himself… we mean, reveals himself to you. No, no, when he arrives for your soul! That’s it, nothing else, that’s all.

“Why don’t you guys review more horror films if that’s what you’re into? Isn’t this a horror film site?” Contrary to popular belief, horrific creatures of the night are interested in all film and genres. If we were only interested in gore and slasher films, most of us could just look in a mirror (those of us who can cast reflections, that is) and see far worse than most make-up effects can create. So while we enjoy seeing creepy characters chasing down their living victims (except for zombies; all zombies need destroying) we know there’s more to life than running away to save it. Therefore, our credo is “thrillers, chillers, and killers,” even if there are chicks crying in it (which, if you’re about to die horribly, is a given when you think about it).

“Uh huh. So what if I just thought you guys were really just a bunch of goth geeks with too much bandwidth on your hands?” We’d say you should start looking under the stairs, in your closets, and anyplace else you hear funny sounds coming from late at night when all the lights are off. It’s probably nothing, but check it out anyway, okay? Sleep tight!

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