Category Archives: Crypt

Review: ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides’ (it’s the Sparrow and Barbossa show!)

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Captain Jack Sparrow sets sail once again, but how does it fare without Gore Verbinski at the rudder?

With no more curses, dead men’s chests, or world endings to speak of, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) continues to dedicate himself to the cause of locating the legendary Fountain of Youth. Unfortunately, an attempt to rescue his old friend Gibbs (Kevin McNally) puts him at odds with the English crown now being advised by a privateer named Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). It seems that the Spanish are keen on finding the fountain first, and worse yet, someone pretending to be Jack Sparrow is recruiting their own crew to find it as well. When an old flame (Penélope Cruz) turns up in the middle of it all, it isn’t long before Jack finds himself unconscious and shanghaied aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge, commanded by the pirate that all pirates fear, Blackbeard (Ian McShane).

With the fortune that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has made to date, a fourth film was inevitable. As another chance to visit our favorite characters again and see what they’ve been up to (other than the happy ending of the original three), On Stranger Tides bursts at the seams with plot, almost to the point of collapsing in on its own weight. Ian McShane’s Blackbeard is, sadly, wasted (as is much of that plotline except as a catalyst to put Jack at odds with Cruz’s character), but the remaining focus on Sparrow and Barbossa continues not only the tale of their rivalry but also why (and how well) they ever worked together to begin with.

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2012 Oscar Nominations: Hugo Vs. The Artist (nom, nom, nom)

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The 2012 Oscar Nomination are out. Some highlights and interesting bits:

  • There were 11 nominations for Hugo (more technical noms) and 10 for The Artist (more for acting noms). Both are up for Best Picture and Director.
  • Warhorse and Moneyball took 6 nominations each, while The Decsendents and The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo took 5 nominations each.
  • Pixar does NOT have a movie up for Animation Feature Film this year while DreamWorks has been nominated for two: Kung Fu Panda 2 and Puss in Boots.
  • The Muppets are likely a shoo-in for Original Song with “Man or Muppet.”
  • The producers for The Tree of Life are “to be determined.” Are they in hiding someplace? They SHOULD be.

The carnage all happens on Sunday, February 26th, 2012 on ABC (and then we get on with our lives).

Review: ‘Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil’ (hillbilly heaven gone all to hell)

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In the tradition of Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, here’s a clever spoof of the slasher genre that reinvents the genre itself.

The time: Memorial Day weekend. The place: West “By God” Virginia. The setup: a group of pretty, well-dressed college students taking a well-deserved break (from what? Like a couple of weeks of school, tops?) pass an old pickup truck with two of Darwin’s finest local specimens, one of which stares unblinking at the young adults as they pass. At a gas station just up the road (and an obligatory stop for alcohol), the students encounter the coveralled hillbillies yet again and fear the worst. Faster than you can say redneck rampage, the point of view is flipped to the pair of good ol’ boys named Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and Dale (Tyler Labine) who just want to fix up their dilapidated mountain cabin and enjoy a bit of rest and relaxation. Unfortunately, the preppy college kids convince themselves of Tucker and Dale’s obvious ill intentions and attempt to murder the mountain men back first.

This wonderful horror-comedy seemed to pop up out of nowhere (off a shelf it’s been siting on is more likely), but it’s obvious why this film didn’t get a wide theatrical release before being sent to DVD land: the fan base who would appreciate this is very specific. By taking all the traditional slasher/city mouse tropes and giving it a good twist, the end result is enough accidental deaths to fill an installment of Final Destination but without all that doom and gloom stuff. This is a misunderstanding of epic levels fueled by egos influenced by watching too many of very same kind of movies. It’s a far-fetched but bloody fun film that doesn’t talk down to its target audience so much as it celebrates fans of the genre.

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Review: ‘Trollhunter’

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Remember the feeling you had the first time you saw Jurassic Park and wondered “Are those real dinosaurs?” That.

In Norway, a group of Volda University students begin to investigate the mysterious appearance of dead bears turning up at odd locations. Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), Johanna (Johanna Mørck), and their cameraman Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen), pick up the trail of a hunter (Otto Jespersen) who they believe might be a poacher. Following the mysterious man out into the woods, they quickly discover that the man actually works for the Norwegian government. His job is to herd, kill, and prevent knowledge of the existence of something thought only to be fantasy: trolls.

The “found footage” genre has grown by leaps and bounds, from art house horror like The Blair Witch Project to mainstream in-theater theme park rides like Cloverfield and (as of this writing) the Paranormal Activity trilogy. The trick is to come up with an excuse to keep filming when anyone in their right minds would abandon the camera and run for their lives, but it’s a cheap option for Independent horror and creates a realistic atmosphere that adds suspense by putting the audience in the middle of the action. Trollhunter (“Trolljegeren” in its native language) combines found footage with Jurassic Park-quality effects to tell an almost heartbreaking story amidst a horrific situation. It’s clever, well thought out, and brilliantly sucks you in.

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