Category Archives: reviews

It’s here.

Review: ‘The Mummy’ 2017 (See Tom Run)

Posted on June 11, 2017 by

When you announce your new “smash hit” film franchise, maybe stay humble for a bit… until you actually succeed. Somewhere in modern-day Iraq, American soldier Nick (Tom Cruise) lures his recon buddy Chris (Jake Johnson) out to a remote village … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Review: ‘Wonder Woman’ (Believe It)

Posted on May 31, 2017 by

At long last: we can rank a DCEU superhero movie over some of the best the MCU has to offer… and actually mean it. Somewhere in the Louvre Museum in Paris, France, a courier delivers a briefcase to the offices … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Review: ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’ (If Only)

Posted on May 30, 2017 by

A film for fans who don’t want the ride to end. “The Dutchman must have a Captain” we were all told, and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) willingly took on that role to ferry the dead at sea into the afterlife; … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Review: ‘Alien: Covenant’ (Prometheus Continues)

Posted on May 28, 2017 by

With zero surprises, the alternate-universe origin story of Alien expands. After the colony ship Covenant suffers damage due to an unforeseen anomaly on-route to a new homeworld, their “synthetic” named Walter (Michael Fassbender, suspiciously) wakes the crew to attend to … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Review: ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’ (Family First)

Posted on May 9, 2017 by

Paraphrasing from director James Gunn: if Vol. 1 was about finding your family, Vol. 2 is about holding it together. After completing a mission for The Sovereign, the Guardians of the Galaxy find themselves in hot water after Rocket (voice … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Review: ‘Ghost in the Shell’ (Machines With Souls)

Posted on May 9, 2017 by

Neither “The Six Million Dollar Man” nor “The Bionic Woman” ever saw this coming. In a very likely future made possible by Hanka Robotics, biomechanical upgrades to humanity have been commonplace. They have one miracle yet to accomplish — the … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Review: ‘Life’ 2017 (Alien plus Gravity equals Meh)

Posted on April 24, 2017 by

Remember how you felt at the end of that 2001 Tim Burton remake of Planet of the Apes starring Mark Wahlberg? Onboard the International Space Station, a crew of six astronauts (Hiroyuki Sanada, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Olga … Continue reading →

Rate this:

Posted in 2017, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments