Category Archives: 2012

Review: ‘Underworld: Awakening’ (strobe lights, the movie)

Besides the fact most of the movie could trigger an epileptic seizure, someone seems to have left off the last ten-to-thirty minutes. After remaining inexplicably undiscovered to modern humankind after centuries of war, Vampires and Lycans find themselves being hunted … Continue reading

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Posted in 2012, Crypt, Movie, Review, reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Review: ‘Byzantium’ (girls crash a boys-only vamp club)

Femme fatales vs. the gentleman’s club – vampire style. Clara works at a strip club; Ella goes to school. They live together telling neighbors and co-workers that they’re sisters, but the truth is that these two young women are centuries … Continue reading

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Review: ‘Dracula 3D’ (Dario Argento’s “Plan 9 from Rented Space”)

Dario Argento has his way with Dracula. No, not literally… but close enough. Our story opens with an ample young woman luring a less-than-faithful husband into debauchery, just the kind of late-1800s sin that attracts the likes of Count Dracula … Continue reading

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Review: ‘Frankenweenie’ (are all Tim Burton remakes doomed?)

Instead of a celebration of classic horror films and the imagination of Tim Burton, Frankenweenie is more a reminder of why “the good old days” seemed a lot better back then. In the town of New Holland (looking eerily like … Continue reading

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Review: ‘Lincoln’ (aka The Quest for the 13th Amendment)

This film’s biggest problem is the title; it’s wrong. It is a period of civil war. The sixteenth President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln (Daniel Day-Lewis), is under pressure to end the American conflict. His desire to pass a … Continue reading

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Posted in 2012, Crypt, Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Review: ‘Flight’ (Denzel’s after-school special)

Denzel Washington’s one-note character is a prisoner of a one-thought plot. Meet Whip Whitaker (Denzel Washington), a second-generation flyboy who spends more time in a bottle than he does asleep, but only barely. After a fateful night of boozing and … Continue reading

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Review: ‘Django Unchained’ (Western Tarantino Style)

After taking on crime drama, pulp novelization, blaxploitation, samurai swordplay, grindhouse, and even war films, Quentin Tarantino set his sights on another classic genre to give it his unique sense of spin: the Western. Just before the American Civil War, … Continue reading

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Posted in 2012, Crypt, Movie, Review | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments