The most ethical and responsible way I know to present my articulated and informed opinion regarding any film is by recommendation — from my personal highest to my bitter least — conveniently rated in skulls for a bit of spooky fun.
Four Skull Recommendation Out of Four
80% – 100%, Very Fresh
see it in theaters, entirely re-watchable, get a copy
I didn’t say this movie was “the best,” only my highest recommended. Not gonna lie: story is a big one for me as well as character and production. Imagination goes a long way, and if you make a story rule, stick to it unless you have a damn good reason to break it.
Three Skull Recommendation Out of Four
60% – 79%, Mostly Fresh
catch a matinee, might watch again, worth a rental
Most film recommendations will fall here if I can still recommend it, but it’s the bottom of the “fresh “scale that still feels like it was worth going to the theater.
Two Skull Recommendation Out of Four
40% – 59%, Slightly Rotten
wait for movie channel, one viewing enough, discount bin only
This is the top of the not-recommended rating, the one that starts to feel like money could have been better spent elsewhere. Die-hard fans will want to see it for completion, but it misses the mark even if only slightly.
One Skull Recommendation Out of Four
20% – 39%, Mostly Rotten
edited for television, never again, re-gift to enemies
This is when the filmmakers should have known better. You had the tools, you had the talent, and yet a series of bad choices, poor editing, or who knows what threw this off the rails. Such promise… such failure.
Zero Skull Recommendation Out of Four
0% – 19%, Spoiled Rotten
never watch, avert your eyes, never own
This is the rarest rating of all, and honestly not one I enjoy giving. Very few films will ever earn this disheartening recommendation, but I sincerely hope it has been a learning experience for all involved to move on, step up, and excel.
An Open Invitation to Debate
To those who disagree with my opinion, I invite you to challenge it: the comments sections are open! I also ask that you do so thoughtfully, respectfully, and politely. For those who prefer to attack the reviewer instead of the review, well…