The most ethical and responsible way I know to present my articulated and informed opinion regarding any film is by recommendation — from my personal highest to my bitter least — conveniently rated in skulls for a bit of spooky fun. FYI: I only bother with ratings because aggregators like Rotten Tomatoes use them, but if you want to know how any film got earned my rating, please read my review!
Four Skull Recommendation Out of Four
80% – 100%, Very Fresh
see it in theaters, entirely re-watchable, get a copy
I didn’t say this movie was “the best,” only my highest recommended. Not gonna lie: story is a big one for me as well as character and production. Imagination goes a long way, and if you make a story rule, stick to it unless you have a damn good reason to break it. These are the ones I can’t stop thinking about.
Three Skull Recommendation Out of Four
60% – 79%, Mostly Fresh
catch a matinee, might watch again, worth a rental
Most film recommendations will fall here if I can still recommend it, but it’s the bottom of the “fresh” scale that still feels like it was worth going to the theater. Perhaps not the most memorable films but enjoyable in the moment.
Two Skull Recommendation Out of Four
40% – 59%, Slightly Rotten
wait for movie channel, one viewing enough, discount bin only
This is the top of the not-recommended rating, the one that starts to feel like money could have been better spent elsewhere. Die-hard fans will want to see it for completion, but it misses the mark even if only slightly.
One Skull Recommendation Out of Four
20% – 39%, Mostly Rotten
edited for television, never again, re-gift to enemies
This is when the filmmakers should have known better. You had the tools, you had the talent, and yet a series of bad choices, poor editing, or who knows what threw this off the rails. “Try. Fail. Try again. Fail better.”
Zero Skull Recommendation Out of Four
0% – 19%, Spoiled Rotten
never watch, avert your eyes, never own
This is the rarest rating of all, and honestly not one I enjoy giving. Very few films will ever earn this disheartening recommendation, but I sincerely hope it has been a learning experience for all involved to move on, step up, and excel. I never want to see a filmmaker here twice.
An Open Invitation to Debate
To those who disagree with my opinion, I invite you to challenge it: the comments sections are open for every review post! I also ask that you do so thoughtfully, respectfully, and politely — removed at my discretion and without argument. For those who prefer to attack the reviewer instead of the review, well…