The Bitter Truth About Death – Editorial

Perspective time: I talk a lot of shit.

It’s true, but it’s not my fault. I look and act like this because of the collective fears of all humanity as the personification of death (which IS my middle name, BTW). HOWEVER, I’m still an Earth-bound entity like yourselves…I’m STUCK here, man. No access to Heaven, Hell, or God knows where. If there’s a Bowie/Prince concert tomorrow, I’m going to miss it until the End of Time (Old Scratch loves reminding me of that).

I didn’t make the Divine Plan. I’m following along one day at a time… just like all of you.

So yeah…I get a sticky-note of who to pick up and escort to the gates (with the occasional idiot who jumps the gun), and it may (read: WILL) get a little rough if you run and really tick me off. I get to meet everyone but often only once, so before you go off blaming the me for taking away your favorite people, just remember: I miss them, too.

Until the first and last time we meet,

~ Grim D. Reaper


Death Wishes You a Safe and Happy New Year – Or Else.

Arrive alive. I deserve a night off too, dammit.

Cryptkeeper and Death: Attorneys-at-Law

When you can’t afford Wolfram & Hart, there’s these guys. Call us… anytime.

Cryptkeeper And Death

We’re the Original Movie Crypt, and the Reaper is Coming for You

We recently posted a bit about others online using “Movie Crypt” as their own title for sites and shows online. This was pointed out to us by a concerned minion who feared we were being unfairly copied; why couldn’t they do something “original?” But, alas, there are very few original ideas out there, and that was when our good buddies at pointed out the truth of the matter.

Lilwickidz ‏@Lilwickidz 20 May
@GrimDReaper, there will always be imitators, but there will only be one real The Movie Crypt with Death at its ghastly helm.

The sad fact is that this is our fault. How can it be that there’s anyone out there who doesn’t know who we are and we do here? To this end, consider the coffin lid kicked open and the other tombstone dropped. The skies will darken and the dead will rise, and behind them you will see us, all of us, laughing maniacally and with scythes unsheathed. It’s going to be a slaughter; see you at the aftermath!


This Way to Your Seat, Mr. Ebert

Roger EbertThe original title of this post was going to be “When Roger Ebert Agreed With Death.” Out of context, however, some readers might have found that a bit insensitive of me (perish the thought).

So, a little about the man pulled from Wikipedia:

Roger Joseph Ebert was an American journalist, film critic, and screenwriter. He was a film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times from 1967 until his death. In 1975, he was the first film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize for Criticism.

My review of Blade 2 in 2002 had generated a bit of flack in how much praise I had given it, but I soon discovered that I wasn’t alone: Roger Ebert had given it 3.5/4.0 stars himself, higher than most of the average user ratings on the site.

I’m not known for going along with the so-called “average film critic” on my opinions, but they are MY opinions and therefore NEVER wrong (likewise, I will never tell you that YOUR opinions are wrong, but that won’t stop me from trying to make you “see the light,” pun intended). While Mr. Ebert and I disagreed on as many films as we both enjoyed, his passion for film was never in question. Paraphrasing the words of Evelyn Beatrice Hall on her critique of Voltaire’s beliefs, I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it (and that speaks volumes coming from the likes of me).

This way to your seat, sir… enjoy the rest of the show.

Today’s Reaper Thing: Death and Politics

Now you know my opinion.

Death Catches Up to Freddy… Sorry, WITH Freddy!

The Angel of Death meets the Man of Your Dreams…!

Taken at Spooky Empire 2012!