“That American nun traveling to an Italian monastery involving a mysterious pregnancy is our last hope this year.” “No — there is another.”

At the invitation of Father Sal Tedeschi (Álvaro Morte), Sister Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney) arrives from America, tasked with caring for elder nuns in their final days at a picturesque countryside Italian convent. Faster than you can say “sinister intent,” things seem off about the nunnery… more so after Cecilia mysteriously comes down with a rare case of pregnancy. After Cardinal Merola (Giorgio Colangeli) certifies the pregnancy as a miracle in progress, Cecilia goes from caregiver to being fussed over, a situation that doesn’t sit well with others no longer over her. As little clues begin to add up to something gravely amiss, our heroine begins to look for opportunities to escape but finds no one able or willing to help her. With time running out, Sister Cecilia will discover the evil that men do… even in the name of God.

With renewed fascination into the dark side of Catholicism thanks to “The Conjuring Universe” horror franchise with The Nun and The Nun II (not to mention a slew of new exorcist films of late), this particular production has spent purgatory in development hell, with Sweeney originally attached to take on the starring role at the age of 17 back in 2016. After becoming a producer herself and recruiting her director from “The Voyeurs,” the film finally got the green light, but it’s interesting how the awfully similar The First Omen was scheduled for a same-year release. There’s nothing unusual about Hollywood launching similar films around the same time — why make one giant asteroid film like Armageddon and Deep Impact when you can have two at twice the price? — but the descriptions of these two films are virtually interchangeable. Since Immaculate came out first, would The First Omen seem like a pale imitation?

Ms. Sweeney throws herself into her role, carrying the production figuratively and literally like a virgin mother. The rest of the cast seems almost incidental, single-note constructs written to fill a role with little else in a way of proper back story; there are simply too many mysteries for Sister Cecilia’s POV to shoulder alone. Viewers looking for a relevant story will find it sidelined in favor of the film’s pregnancy porn, and even that appears lacking, likening its three-act structure to individual trimesters — not the ready source of dread the writers were trying for — while jumping indiscriminately from scene to scene. Call it unfair to suggest that writer Andrew Lobel and director Michael Mohan weren’t up to the task of a showcasing a young woman’s horror, but a runtime of less than ninety minutes suggest any original thinking ended after figuring out the budget money shots.

One or two interesting ideas are seeded into this, but at some point the plot chose to go all-in on either magic or science but not both ; they chose poorly. Grounding an idea is the first step to suspending disbelief, but if so-called facts merely drive your script into the direction filmmakers wish it to go, it’ll feel as forced as it does. As a result, Sweeney either observes or endures all manner of abuse, but viewers will hard pressed to care about her character, and forget all about anything like bodily autonomy. Even the beginning of the film betrays how straight forward the plot is intended to be, with Sister Cecilia’s predecessor caught trying to flee her circumstance in a Drew Barrymore Scream kind of way that fails to follow through. Since it’s not the only punch to be pulled, one could say it perfectly sets the stage for every disappointing thing afterward. There’s also a false narrative regarding “when” this is all happening, setting up a revelation that comes off purely a cheat.

Rabid fans of Sidney Sweeney may enjoy what this film offers or those looking for some light but forgettable nunsploitation. Steel yourself for medieval tortures, random attacks, hidden catacombs, and disinterested exposition. If you’re the kind of viewer who prefers a bit of psychological torture mixed in with your bloodletting, skip this and look forward to what The First Omen has to offer ; you can thank me later.

Immaculate is rated R for strong and bloody violent content, grisly images, nudity, some language, and cribbing off Jurassic Park junk science.

A one-skull recommendation out four