You must never run from anything immortal; it attracts their attention.

Invited to a secluded nature preserve in the Canadian Rockies owned by a pharmaceuticals corporation, company man Elliot (Paul Rudd) drags along his reluctant teen daughter Ridley (Jenna Ortega) in an effort to appear more “family oriented” to their hosts. Billionaire Odell (Richard E. Grant) is not long for this world, trusting Elliot to ensure the company continues profiteering for his philanthropist wife Belinda (Téa Leoni) and their entrepreneur son Shepard (Will Poulter). Elliot knows if he can close the deal, he and Ridley will be set for life, but a funny thing happened on the way to the forest compound, reducing a creature of legend into mythical roadkill. Faster than you can say “exploitable limited resource,” a discrete medical team arrives to collect data and harvest the beast; too bad there’s only one of them… right?

Peter S. Beagle warned us in his novel The Last Unicorn prior to it being made into the 1982 animated classic, and The Cabin in the Woods literally drove the point home. There’s a childlike fascination between belief in unicorns and heartfelt maidens… in spite of such creatures reportedly being intelligent, vindictive, and altogether deadly (yes, both the unicorns and the maidens). Fortunately, A24 has thoughtfully put together an informative biopic rooted in what we know, whether it’s historical fact or wild speculation. Written and directed by Alex Scharfman in his debut feature film, blood will most assuredly be spilled as things go from hearsay to horny… and penetration is absolutely on the table.

With plot points eerily echoing E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial mixed with a bit of the 1983 sci-fi Brainstorm, our story involves three families: one having endured tragedy, one overcoming tragedy, and the last seeking a miracle to avoid it. Corporate greed and selling your soul to the highest bidder sets up glorious gore and justifiable comeuppance, encouraging characters to compromise their values in exchange for escalating executions. As per most supernatural horror, transgressions are subject to over-punishment, but mercy may be granted for anyone finally pulling their heads out of their ass. It’s understandable if organ harvesting isn’t your particular brand of humor and horror, but if The Monkey tripped your trigger last month, you’re in for a rainbow-flavored treat.

While Rudd and Ortega’s father-daughter routine is pleasant enough, Poulter’s Shepard steals the show, displaying opportunistic tendencies and higher education hamstrung with a hilarious lack of priority and focus. Grant and Leoni shine as self-justified elites, saying the most casual yet horrible things imaginable to twist charity into prosperity. Among the help at the wilderness compound, Anthony Carrigan’s Griff becomes far more interesting after he eventually speaks his mind, realizing he’s in danger as much as anyone else. Eagle-eyed viewers may notice plenty of einhorn Easter eggs around the set according to the director, not the least of which are references to The Unicorn Tapestries (aka The Hunt of the Unicorn) currently displayed at The Cloisters in New York City; these same works of art also inspired in the opening credits for The Last Unicorn animated film.

Some CG imagery appears rushed toward the end, but the combination of practical FX and keeping monsters hidden in shadow works its necessary magic. Aside from a few minor continuity issues, the film works as yet another lesson in humanity’s overreach and dabling in forbidden things beyond understanding. To quote Jurassic Park’s Dr. Sattler: “You never had control; that’s the illusion.” No goat appetizers this time — just the main course.

Death of a Unicorn is rated R for strong violent content, gore, language, some drug use, and suggesting Jenna Ortega has ever had skin problems.

Four skull recommendation out of four.