That multi-armed atrocity from the trailer is the gift that keeps on giving.

On the evening of a blizzard blowing into Colorado, gig courier Bryan (Austin Abrams) is tasked with doing one more job to close out the evening: the express delivery of an organ transport bag to Raccoon City for twice the usual rate. He’s ill-equipped to drive through a snowstorm at night (never mind the distraction of shoring up a relationship with his girlfriend over the phone), so it’s no surprise what happens when a pedestrian abruptly runs across the road in front of him. Bryan stops and exits his vehicle to (as usual) do the right thing… one more in a series of impossible decisions with consequences on a night he’ll never forget for the rest of his life.

As the creator of Barbarian and most recently Weapons, director Zach Cregger reimagines the Resident Evil franchise from his own script co-written by John Wick series writer Shay Hatten. Based upon one of the most influential survival horror games for consoles (and often credited for reinvigorating interest in zombies as pop-culture monsters), the new story goes away from elite forces operatives escaping a mansion full of once-human monsters (inspiring the original Resident Evil movies) to an everyman dropped into extraordinary circumstances with only video game familiarity as preparation for what’s to come. When it’s time to put up or shut up, how would YOU do on this pass-or-fail final exam?

Believe the hype; body horror fans rejoice! RE 2026 is a serious horror film perfectly blended with organic situational humor, all through the viewpoint of an endearing shit-talking main character whose best skill is that he keeps trying… and against all odds, incredibly surviving. The visuals feel inspired by John Carpenter’s remake of The Thing with a healthy dose of H.P. Lovecraft fare like Color Out of Space, seamlessly blending the two with such realism that it’s hard to say what’s practical and what’s CGI. If you’ve seen the advertised “Jump Street” scene with bodies plummeting into the ground, that is in no way the craziest thing in this flick, so rest assured all the good stuff isn’t fronted for the advertising. This may even top David Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly for “I’m not sure I want to see what happens crawls out next,” and that is no small thing.

Cregger clearly has an eye for (and an ability to draw audiences into) these kinds of narratives, experiencing events alongside a character framed as a third-person game POV while never looking like a rendered cut scene (we’re looking at you, Marvel). The director acts like it’s viewers when to expect a jump scare before admonishing you for trusting the nonexistent formula, because nowhere and nothing is safe anymore. It creates a visceral tension throughout that’s lacking in too many would-be thrillers, tapping into the uncanny valley of once-familiar other. Every bit as graphic as the most recent Evil Dead Burn, RE 2026 is infused with humor that forgoes sacrificing the stakes; you laugh because you really need to. Unless you’re a soulless entity incapable of empathy or imagination (insert sinister laugh here), you may find yourself peering over your shoulder into the darkness, wondering what might be behind you… and especially whatever some new horrific critter can do to you.

At a lean 95 minutes on a mere $65M budget, RE 2026 leaves viewers on a runner’s high of horror satisfaction. Critic and audience reviews may look too good to be true, but this thing has Obsession and Backrooms box office potential, and that’s no slight against either of those films. In the Milla Jovovich RE series, the Umbrella Corporation is front and center (everyone in the world seems to know about it) but it’s barely mentioned here, because nobody understandably is supposed to know about it. There’s no mid or after-credit scenes, but watch carefully for the tiny hints of ambiguity in the final thirty seconds for the seeds of an inevitable sequel.

Resident Evil 2026 is rated R for strong bloody violence, gore and language throughout, and having seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

Four skull recommendation out of four